she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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