You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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