So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
