hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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