You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
