My nipple is on Facebook.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
