Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I looked at my own cervix.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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