We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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