I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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