Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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