I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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