I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
