i don't like sucking hair
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
