I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
