you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
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He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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