Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize