their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
