i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
well I can't set my house on fire every night
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize