Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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