I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
