Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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