we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
