I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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