The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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