I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
