Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
