quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His hands were made for my vagina.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
