Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
