We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
