She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
