I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.