By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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