After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
