When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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