I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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