he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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