my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
