Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
