I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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