ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
