So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
