Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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