Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
