I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
