so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
