I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
