he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
