I'm drive I can fine osifer
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
