I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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