what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
