big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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