You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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