my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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