do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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